Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize