just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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