I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
