did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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