Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
