WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize