I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
