my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
