absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize