Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
