one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
