yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
