My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
bring money and cleavage
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize