I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
