ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Randomize
