and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
tell me about the eggs
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