how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
