So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
