I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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