So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
My pussy is not your playground.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
