Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
