This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
