Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
