Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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