Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
wow bdsm is so cute
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
