god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
She bit a glass in half.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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