remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
