vagina is talking i cant
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
So. Much. Porn.
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