God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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