He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
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