My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
