I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
