I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
