saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
