my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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