I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
