how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
