Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
