i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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