He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
