I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we're making bets on your personal life
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
