So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Randomize
