How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize