is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
