Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize