he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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