It's like a parade of train wrecks.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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