Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
