Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Randomize
