I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
