I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
