she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
