i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
