I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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