Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
wat bout pragnant strippers??
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
ugly people sure do ruin things
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
