I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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