Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
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