As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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