I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
