Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
