Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
