it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
