I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
