Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Where are you guys?
Drunk
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
