I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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